Sales 101: Change their mood, not their mind

sales 101

The interesting thing about sales is that it is very similar to being in a relationship. Closing a sale, in many cases, is like winning a fight with your significant other.

When you get into a fight with your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend, what do you do? You try to prove that you are right and they are wrong, right?

When you try to prove your points, I bet you use logic to show that you are right. At the end of the day, however, you know that it isn’t really going work. “Why?” You may ask. Well, it’s because the other party is emotionally stuck on the notion that they are right and you are wrong.

So, how do you win a battle with your significant other? The reality is you don’t try to win. As long as the other party feels that they have won and you still get the outcome you are looking for, it doesn’t matter. The best way to get the outcome you are looking for is to change the other person’s mood, typically by making him or her happy. If someone is happy, he or she is more likely to give you what you want.

Want to know the secrets of sale? Check this 3 steps cheat sheet.

Now, let’s dive into how you do this from a sales perspective.

Always try logic first

Every time you go into a sales meeting, the first thing you need to do is make a case for your product or service and explain why your prospects should be using it. The easiest way to convince a company that they need your product or service is to show them how it can make them more money.

The pitch goes something like this: “If you use our product, it’s going to boost your revenue by X, and it will only cost you Y. You should start seeing the benefits within 30 days.”

Of course, you will have to go into a lot more detail than I did in my example, but you get the point.

If you can’t make a promise to increase a company’s revenue, you’d better be able to show them that you are going to save them money, or time, or help them get a leg up on their competition.

Logic doesn’t always help you close a deal

Now that you’ve made your pitch using logic, you have to realize that logic won’t always win you a deal. There are a ton of reasons why logic doesn’t always work, e.g., the person you are pitching to just may not like you.

It’s impossible to figure out exactly why someone may be emotionally set on not giving you his or her money, but if you pay attention to that person’s body language, you’ll be able to tell if he or she likes you or not.

If the person you are talking to is nodding her head, it shows that she is engaged and likes what you have to say. On the other hand, if she is ignoring your pitch and is constantly looking down at her iPhone, she probably doesn’t care to hear what you have to say.

If you find that your prospect’s body language is showing that he is engaged and happy with what you have to say, then you are fine, and you should work on sealing the deal. But if his body language shows otherwise, you’d better start working on changing your prospect’s mood.

Don’t change their mind, change their mood

I wish I could tell you the one tactic to change someone’s mood, but there is no one way to do so. The one thing I can tell you, however, is that you have to make the other party happy with you. If someone starts liking you, he or she is more likely to sign a deal with you because people prefer working with those they get along with.

Here are some of the ways I change people’s mood so that they like me:

  • Storytelling – During the beginning of a sales meeting, I always ask people to introduce themselves and share something interesting about themselves. Once I find out what we have in common, I share with them my personal story and make it relatable to the other person using our common interests as the connection point. The purpose of this is for the other person to feel and say to himself or herself, “I could be friends with this person because he/she is just like me.”
  • Food and drinks – Some people just like feeling that they are special. You’d be shocked to find out what a free meal and drinks can do for someone. People really appreciate the small things, and it tends to make them happy.
  • Humor – There is no better way to lighten up the mood than to say a few jokes. The key to using humor is to make it relevant to the pitch. Never joke about the company you are pitching to, and don’t take things too far. Ideally, use humor during your pitch, not the beginning or end, as this is the most natural way to do it.
  • Make life simpler – The person you are pitching to probably has a busy work schedule. So, if you can make his or her life easier, or take on some of that person’s workload, your prospect will be much happier. Within your pitch, make sure you emphasize the fact that you are going to reduce your prospect’s workload, not increase it. Who doesn’t want to work less?

If you use some of the tactics I mention above to change people’s mood, you’ll notice that you will start closing a lot more deals.


A good salesperson will use a combination of logic and emotions to close deals. Using just logic or emotions by themselves isn’t effective, so you have to get better at reading people and mixing up your pitch by using both of those elements.

The next time you are in a sales meeting, try changing the person’s mood. You’ll be shocked to see what it can do.

How else would you go about changing someone’s mood?

If you want to break through to real profits online, you need some serious firepower. For a limited time I’m sharing some select tips and tricks Amazon, Microsoft, NBC & Hewlett Packard paid thousands of dollars per hour for, FREE.
  • The step by step guide to monster traffic generation
  • The how-to guide for increasing conversions on your website
  • 7 Cashflow killers your analytics tools are hiding from you
100% privacy, I will never spam you!


  1. I would say in sales it helps to hit all 3 major areas of the brain, logical, emotional, and animal (see: I’m curious Neil, where did you hear the phrase “Change their mood, not their mind?” For me it was from a friend into NLP. I will say that we’re learning a lot about how different centers of the brain take part in decision making. Check out how moral conflicts are resolved, through competing centers of the brain:

  2. It’s difficult to blend these two well, as I think most people tend to lean really heavily toward one side or the other. Too much emphasis on the pragmatic, logical approach or a completely emotional pitch with few practical applications.

    I’m a pretty logical guy at heart, so I’ll definitely need to work on the emotional appeal of my pitches going forward….

    • It can be difficult to use and balance both sides but if you take the time to work on it, it will be worth it.

      I myself am a more logically guy but realized that I need to adapt and use more emotions in order to relate to people who may not be so logical. This helped me make what I wanted to happen work.

  3. This is something I really need to work on more because I have tended to see sales number lag behind traffic

  4. Really nice post!! I really liked the tips on how to create the good and positive mood for the sale! There is so much psychology behind closing a deal! The perfect mix of rationality and emotions!

  5. You’re already behind if you start with purely logic. It proves you don’t really understand your customer. There are many four-quadrant (and also some three quadrant) models to understand, communicate and approach your prospect, customer, and other communication medians.

    Sure, there might be some research that proves people buy more in good moods, but if you’re still not overcoming their objections with answers they are interested in, no amount of trying to change their mood is going to help.

    I suggest you check out if you’re interested in sales and how it’s combined with a four-quadrant brain model.
    note: I used to work there, but they don’t know I’m referring them and I don’t get any compensation. The training and information changed my life in a good way.

  6. Wow, relationship Advice and Marketing advice. Thanks Neil. I’ve actually used a lot of your “pitch” advice in real negotiations, and i’ve been able to seal the deal with them.

    Keep these kind of articles coming.

  7. Trin Salaloy :

    Thats a pretty funny photo.

  8. Hi Neil, this is a great sales post.
    To change someone’s mood is difficult but I think also giving more personal details about yourself than you usually would, will get the other person to know you more and hopefully trust you more.
    This seems to work for me more often than not.

  9. Excellent post! Of course, the decision on whether to buy or not to buy is made by individuals, and not a company.

    So if you can connect with individuals within the company, I don’t see why you should have a hard time sailing through – that is, if they really need your product.

  10. Every person has a writing signature or style, after reading Neil Patels blog for a while i can tell this one was not his. Looks like it was written by somebody that really does not know anything about sales.

  11. There’s nothing better than changing people’s mind to put them in the right mind to buy from you. At times, when the sales letter/copy is well crafted, the person reading it will surely forget what he or she might want to buy befoer hand and then purchase your own product right there…. if one is in good frame of mind, then he will be proud to do something good immediately.


  12. I think it’s an easy part in real life. For me it is more difficult to make this online. How to understand people you don’t see and can’t speak to?

    • Hey Anastasia,

      Even though it is not in person you can still communicate with people online. Through trial and error you can learn what people do and do not like.

  13. Neil can I use the pic for a presentation at work?

  14. A good business proposal is always a priority when you need to change someone’s mood for doing sales, I’ve been a call center employee and i know how hard it is to convince someone to buy you products.

  15. Closing a sales is always not so easy.. everytime you have to interact people with different personalities and there are no fix rules on how one should deal with them.

    It’s always interesting for me to learn something new and the post has some good stuff which I can keep in mind for my next sales meeting.

    • I agree, it takes preparation and experience. I am glad this post was able to provide you with some useful tips. Let me know how they work out for you.

  16. If its a married guy, to whom you are pitching too, then a wife/girlfriend joke can create an instant bond 🙂

  17. Thanks Neil. In managing a horse racing subscription website, these facets are particularly true and totally agree that using a mix of mood and logical sales pitch does seem to work.

    The proof of course is in making sure that the product worked in the first place!

  18. I would be interested to see how this directly relates on deals you are trying to close in internet – using sales pages, video, email sequences. I understand principles are very similar, just interesting how tools transfer using these core marketing techniques!

    Very interesting read, thanks Neil!

  19. To build good relation with other people is the most important thing to increase the sale of the business, if the business is not so much popular because for the sale of the new business, the trust of the people need.

  20. Nice post like always, Neil. Thanks.

  21. Change the customers mood makes them give emotional response for our proposal. So we can covert them easily even they are not have intention to purchase .


  22. As someone who works in sales, I agree. The really successful salesmen at my job don’t use logic to sell to their customers, they use stories, jokes, and relate to customers on an emotional level. One of them even professes to know barely anything about our product line. She can still sell the crap out of it.

    I always think of the line “people love to buy but hate to be sold to.” Generally, if you are giving somebody a sales pitch you are using logic. If you take the time to get to know them and inform them of how the product can help them, you’ll have a better job selling to them.

  23. Amy Billingsley :

    Great article Neil – I completely agree. I’ve always worked hard to find the point that I relate to in my client’s life and build the relationship from there. People light up when they feel you’re speaking the same language.

  24. Emotions work very well but its a mix of all these things.

  25. Great practical post Neil. It’s crazy how we know how to work effectively with people in our personal lives then completely forget it in business. Great advice.

  26. This sales article give us something that we can exactly use in our marketing. We’ve tried to attend webinar with Google and they didn’t really tell about this type of behavior when selling.

    Thanks and looking forward for more sales technique..

  27. You explained the Sale in very interesting and informative way in the beginning of this post and moreover I like the statement that “sales is similar to dating”…

  28. Hey Neil, you are perfectly right. I have tried to sell some Insurance Policies in India in small city. At that time I learned the same thing from my experience. In sales, you just have to choose the other party’s weak point and manipulate the same. It’s really feels good when you close a winning deal.

  29. Thank you Neil. The balance between logic and emotion is an essential part of making the sale. It is true that people buy out of emotion and justify with logic. This is why it is important we also focus on the emotional benefits our products/services bring rather than just focusing on the rational benefits alone.

  30. I totally agree with you Neil. thanks for your wonderful share as always.

  31. You have used this photograph earlier . No ?

  32. I haven’t used it much in sales, but I know that my boss who is excellent a copy writing does exactly as you say, he changes the mood or the reader. I however do it naturally at home in relationships, if I know a certain little lady is getting wound up it isn’t good for me lol so I set out to change her mood and everyone is a winner 😉

    As you say, don’t try to change their minds, change their mood. It prevents many arguments.


  33. Great selling tips Neil!

    I am very interested on how would this technique or style convert over to a sales page.


    • Thanks Kris,

      In order to use these tactics on a sales page you have to get creative. Try using words or frases that you have found to be successful when used in person. Images could also be helpful. It all is a matter of trial and error to see what works best.

  34. A good friend of mine is a GREAT sales person, he hardly ever actually tries to sell anything though. He just asks questions and will get the person talking about what they’re interested in and care about. He’ll spend an hour chatting them up about nothing, and at the end of the meeting, shake hands and walk out. The person being sold ends up giving him all the information he needs and he’s built this great relationship with the person… When the person starts asking him questions, he’ll answer them, but he does so in a way that makes feel like they are just friends hanging out having a beer… for him it’s all about the relationship building, and the “customer’ ends up handing over big checks. By the way, I’ve seem him do exactly this with the women in his life too…

  35. I agree on building the trust with customers. Nice comparison with closing a sale and significant other ;).

  36. And be polite and convey the message in the right manner.

  37. Nice Article Neil, simple and clear data about building the trust with clients. great job ya, continue this awesome service.

  38. Storytelling has always worked for me Neil. If you can at least let the buyer know you are a normal person without gimmicks they may vibe with you and purchase what you have. Character is key!

  39. Went to buy a car and my mind was made up about the car before I went to the garage but the salesman was good.

    During the test drive he never once asked me about money or talked about how much the car was. Instead he asked me questions like where I was going to park the car? Did I live in a gated community etc – allowing me to picture me owning the car (i had already done his work for him but he was good).

    He even asked my partner about her car and how she would feel about her partner owning a newer more powerful car and would she be allowed to drive it? It was good to watch him in action:)

  40. A great sales person can make a person change his mind. I agree with you Neil, we cant change their mind if they are set on something but if we change their mood, the possibility of closing a sale is bigger.

  41. I definitely agree to you. In order to close a deal, there is so much of thinking involved. Also, it requires a level of trust before closing the deal.

  42. I know one thing from my experience that it is better to loose an argument to a client than to loose a client.

    • Good point, but make sure that the argument you loose isn’t on something that ends up hurting your client. Most of the time your client won’t know what is best for them and you have to remind them that, that is why they hired you.

  43. The client is always right.

  44. Hi Neil…This is really very brilliant advice for me because for me to change the mood of someone that i am going to deal with is really very tough but the ways you expressed here are truly powerful and i would like to follow. The first one ‘Story telling’ is really great because i think this could be helpful to smoothly start any tough topic discussion and as you said help to identify the similarities but this should be effective and interesting. Starting with the introduction does not mean to intro yourself in military style but it should be smooth and gradually comes to the main topic. Thanks Neil for useful information.

  45. Also I think we should learn some face reading, So we can read from face of client weather the discussion is not making him bored OR he is not understanding what we are trying to put in there minds 🙂

  46. lol @ the car salesman.

    (this is also pickup 101) 😀

  47. I would just like to add just that you have to stick to your position, i mean to act like you don’t care whether this particular customer will buy your product. Attitude like “If you don’t buy it somebody else will” helps sometimes.

  48. I’d say logic is even less important than you’ve mentioned. Emotions, i think are pretty much EVERYTHING in sales.

  49. People currently are surrounded by numbers in many different ways.
    What is missing and that still makes the difference is the human touch

  50. Hi Neil, Just going through some of your older posts. Most of my customers, or potential customers contact and speak with me on the phone, so it can make it very difficult to “talk someone round” or “make them happy” I was thinking about conducting visits before giving a quote maybe this will be more successful. I guess the customer forms an opinion on you as a person better face to face then on the phone

  51. Most people don’t really try techniques from offline marketing in an internet marketing setting but many of the same techniques work.

  52. oh wow. informative article.”Don’t change their mind, change their mood” actually i believe in it neil.
    the world is running on it.


  53. Hi,
    A good business proposal is always a priority when you need to change someone’s mood for doing sales.

  54. I have been surfing online more than three hours today, yet
    I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  55. I’ve been in furniture sales a good # of years. I was #1 in sales at our store (major retailer) for 2012. The last 2 months, I’ve had a noticeable slide in production joining a few others in the same delimma. I’m prospecting customers as hard as ever, ‘meet & greet’ professionally, and try to keep things fairly light, yet provide knowledge & info when necessary. The last 60 days in our store always has one person ( and not always the same one) considerably higher in numbers than everyone else followed by other’s numbers that are very mediocre, or not good at all. I’m trying to be a little more aggressive on the closing side when I can, but it seems I’m just not getting the ‘good cards’ dealt to me that produce the most sincere buyers. Trust me, I’m staying positive and on course, but am concerned. Am I over-analyzing all of this? Thanks for any feedback.

  56. Hey Neil !
    Fantastic post. Changing the mind of people is next to impossible,at least for me. I really liked your idea about changing their mood. The techniques to change their mood are awesome . Specially the factor of humor, I guess that would work effectively.

  57. I’ve learned in marketing that people might not always be ready to buy so you have to influence them.

  58. C = 4m + 3v + 2(i-f) – 2a

    C = Probability of conversion
    m = Motivation of user (when)
    v = Clarity of the value proposition (why)
    i = Incentive to take action
    f = Friction elements of process
    a = Anxiety about entering information

    mood is definitely very important…i buy lot of things online when I am listening to good music

  59. Awesome article. I am proof positive because I use these methods when I teach my 5 hour class

  60. If some one wants to be updated with newest technologies
    therefore he must be go to see this website and be up to
    date all the time.

  61. If some one needs to be updated with newest technologies
    therefore he must be visit this website and be up to date all the time.

  62. Pretty part of content. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to
    assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Any way I will be subscribing to your feeds or even I fulfillment you access persistently quickly.

  63. Hello, I would like to subscribe for this webpage to take hottest updates, so where can i do
    it please help.

Speak Your Mind