Why Being the Loudest Makes You the Weakest

american gangster

If you have watched American Gangster, you have probably heard of the quote: “the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room.” When Denzel Washington said that, he was trying to explain how he had tons of problems when he was showing off (being loud), and how he had very few problems when he wasn’t showing off.

Now granted, Denzel Washington was a drug dealer in the movie, which is why he had tons of problems. Although you aren’t involved in illegal activates (or at least I hope you aren’t) you should try and be low key because showing off won’t do much good for you.

For example I try and stay humble by doing things like driving my mom’s beat up Honda Civic, which is 10 years old. Even worse, my mom’s daycare business, Tina’s Daycare, is advertised on the car.

1998 honda civic

You can be loud by bragging about your financial status or by buying luxury goods that make you stand out. If I started driving around a Ferrari, all that it will do is cause more people to snoop into my business and try to compete with me. Also, playing it quiet has three huge benefits:

  1. More money – if you don’t waste your money on things like a fancy car, you will have more of it. When you are doing well having money is never a problem, but you never know what is going to happen. What happens if the economy goes into another recession? Or even worse, what happens when more competitors’ emerge and they start eating at your market share?
  2. Respect – a lot of people will respect you if you show your wealth or talk about how successful you are, but those people usually aren’t important. In most cases they’ll either get excited or jealous of you because they want what you have. On the other hand if you don’t show off you will get respect from people that can help you get further in life. For example people who are smart don’t easily get impressed when someone brags about their success, they get turned off. Just look at Britney Spears and Paris Hilton… they are very flashy, but you probably don’t respect them.
  3. Clear path – when you start spending having enough is never enough. Once you start on the path of buying to impress there’s always something bigger to buy, where as when you’re frugal you can see the bottom. If you haven’t made it yet, it is better for you to stay closer to the ground so that you know where you are going. Plus, there is always someone who is going to have more than you.

Of course, knowing that you should keep a low profile and actually doing it are two different things. Thankfully, these two simple steps will make it a lot easier to actually BE quieter:

  • Think twice – before you do things like make a luxurious purchase or brag, think it through. Acting on impulse is what causes you to do stupid things. Especially when it comes to making extravagant purchases, sleep on it before you make a decision. Hopefully after a good nights rest, you will come to your senses.
  • Shut your mouth – every once in a while you’ll do something that you are proud of, instead of talking about it, keep your mouth shut. Showing off will not get you anywhere. On top of that you probably want to shut your mouth when it comes to talking about your business and the unique ways you are making money. If you don’t have a business and are planning on creating or buying one, be careful who you mention that to. The less people that know about your business, the better.

Lastly, you may tend to be loud because you think it will make you feel better. The reality is, it won’t! Plus, it’s easy for American Gangsters to find loud people in dark rooms. So SHH!

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Comments

  1. Funny I just watched that movie Saturday.

    • It is one of my favorite movies. It doesn’t hurt that Jay Z made an album for the movie :)

    • It’s a good movie. If you watch it a few times you’ll learn a lot from it. ;)

    • Jacques Seoman :

      I also recently watched the movie, the full length version on DVD. It was an eye opener of note, and really confirmed the old wartime saying of “Loose Lips Sink Ships”

      It saddened me a bit that the heroin trade was not exposed adequately, with just the proceeds of the heroin trade being displayed. Every flashy dollar comes from some desperate addict that could’ve quite easily killed or stolen to get the money for his/her next fix.

      • Hey Jacques, I tried to write to you directly, but wasn’t sure about using the contact page on the website linked to your name. Anyway, did you see Trainspotting (1996)? Plenty of heroin use showcased therein. Sorry if I’m off topic, but your comment immediately reminded me of that film.

      • The world is a dirty place. Sadly there are always going to be people who do unethical/illegal things.

        • Jacques Seoman :

          That is very true, the very nature of the beast. As long as one is aware and careful to sidestep potential nonsense there is much beauty to be had in this world too. I would really love to see the whole worlds people healthy, happy and living in peace and harmony with each other.

  2. Hey Neil,

    Its similar to, ‘empty vessels make much noise.’ The last point in your post,’shut your mouth’. Can I ask you how right it is or applicable to your or anyone’s online popularity?

  3. Actually I like that about your character Neil, you could certainly be loud but choose not to be. Nice style.

    Let the guys in the proverbial fur coats get all the attention, you keep on working and building your roi.

    Cheers!

  4. Great point man. I think it’s time to upgrade to the new Honda Civic or the New Corolla. You can just put on your black amex card :)

  5. can’t agree more with your post…

    growing up I have kept one thing that I tell a lot of people “dont bark like a dog when your just a puppy”.

    I don’t care if a person wants to talk about their accomplishments or the price of their new S-class, but only if its with reason.

    Its all about maintaining that fine line between being a showboat and defining your accomplishments for others. Once that line is crossed, its hard to regain the respect you might once had.

  6. I remember there was a book that came out some time ago (was it The Millionaire Next Door?) that talked about the first point you make…the notion of spending consciously and that you often won’t recognize the millionaires because they are usually inconspicuous. I’m with you on that (not that I have any wealth to hide at present! ; ). As for the other point, I think it takes practice to learn when to keep your mouth shut and when to open it. In a world of increasing self-promotion, especially as it relates to being an independent artist of any kind, finding this balance is critical.

    • Didn’t the book talk about how plumbers and people like that are usually the millionaires next door? I think the book also mentioned that doctors and lawyers usually aren’t millionaires because of the number of times they get divorced.

      • The point that I remember reading somewhere (and I don’t know if it was from that book or not) was that the folks who might not appear to be rich (in terms of whatever we think “looks” rich) may well be the ones sitting on a chunk of change that adds up to a million or so. As I recall, the idea was to dispel the usual notion of the path to becoming a millionaire. So, in that regard, people working in trades such as plumbing and carpentry and similar trades might do much better than someone who has spent money and time on years of education and then years more paying off that debt if school loans were involved. Combine that with buying all the stuff perceived to be required to keep up with the Jones’ in their circle and that professional’s net worth might be a lot less than someone who happens to run a successful trade business and who does not spend money on what might be considered luxury items. (As for divorces, I don’t know enough about their relationship to x,y, or z profession to comment on what you write above, but I know that they can turn out to be expensive for both sides.)

        After seeing all the dialogue here, I feel that what it boils down to is understanding yourself well enough deep down inside to know why you are sharing information about an achievement of some kind, whether it be a purchase or the receipt of an award. On the one hand, I continue to learn to be confident enough to share accomplishments when asked or when I feel that offering this information could further my conversation or the connection. On the other hand, I have to monitor myself so as not to go overboard at the wrong time, so that I might mistakenly be perceived to be arrogant (and, therefore, insecure). Your post certainly has sparked a lot of dialogue and so, regardless of where I perceive myself to be on the spectrum of insecure versus confident, I feel I am not alone in the process of navigating this path.

        • That’s right, you have to understand why you want to share information about your achievements. For example I do it because I feel that I can help others succeed by doing so. But at the same time, I also share information about my failures.

          • Hey Neil, can you do a post talking about your failures and what you learned from them? I find these stories to be of equal (sometimes greater) value than success stories, but they aren’t talked about as much. The last time i asked someone that I learned a LOT. Plus I felt better about my own failures – mine was small beans comparatively speaking. They lost $1.2 million – yikes!

            • I will in the future, I just have to thinking about how I should write about it.

              • Didn’t you lose $1,000,000 during the first few years?

              • Like Tee, I had a conversation with someone recently that was helpful. I spoke with a songwriter about production costs for one of her more recent albums. While doing some research, I had discovered that she had documented her costs online and she wrote that she felt the costs were too high, given the context in which she was operating at the time. I asked how she would revise the production process in order to reduce the costs, if she had the chance to do so today. She also shared a personal situation that influenced her spending during that time (she dedicated the album to her son who had died). Following our conversation, she said she was inspired to write a follow-up “report” on what had happened, but I don’t know if she’s done it yet. She had some really salient advice to offer and I hope that Neil might sometime offer the something similar when he is up for it. : )

              • I also thought I’d share a recent experience of my own in terms of sharing a failure or disappointment. Of course, success stories are inspiring and motivating. Sharing achievements in this context can be empowering both for the person sharing and the person receiving the information. This past November, recognizing that I usually share good news in my e-newsletters, I did something different on a whim. I was applying for a program and I shared the excitement and the anxiety with people via a blog post, telling everyone that I had applied and that I’d report back on whether my application was accepted or not. Well, my application was not accepted in that case. The experience of sharing “the waiting” and the subsequent “failure” was powerful for me and for several readers who replied to me (via my newsletter or in person, if not directly on my blog, as I’m still developing it and usually post about once a month). I haven’t read that “fake it til you make it” post to which there is a link somewhere below, though I do understand that perceptions matter. That being said, in this case, I felt that revealing my vulnerability got me one step closer to accepting my own humanity. It seemed that people connected with that. That being said, I imagine that the frequency, timing, and mode of sharing this information will affect the perception.

              • AJ, I did lose a million my first few years in business. Luckily I made it back, but I wish I didn’t lose it.

                Oh well, it was a good learning experience.

              • Manisha showing how you failed is always a good thing to do. You usually can’t go wrong with doing so.

                The thing you have to be careful about is sharing your successful stories.

              • I hear what you are saying, Neil.

    • I agree with your point about balance Manisha – its important to be able to market yourself and talk about what you do in a confident and inspiring manner. At the same time, Neil’s points are well taken. I guess its a matter of knowing what to talk about and when to talk about it. :)

      • I guess we are both right in different ways.

        • Tee, thanks for reaching out. A pleasure e-connect with you here.

          • E-connect – thats a new one for me. :)

            And the pleasure is mine! I checked out your site and your music: love it, love it! Im waiting on a remix version with Kanye. or maybe a nice house mix! Ooooo! Btw, where are the fly manishamusic tees? :)

            • Hi Tee, Yes, I’ve been “e-connecting” folks ever since there was a way of doing it and now Neil here has created a space that has e-connected us. : ) Thanks for your enthusiastic and supportive message. I noticed that both you and Jacques have made a connection with me elsewhere in cyberspace, so we’ll be in touch! Best, Manisha

  7. Oh, I just realized that I didn’t mean to imply by my parenthetical joke above that having some significant amount of wealth would be the only reason to be judicious in spending. If you can keep your expenses as they are (for at least a while) after you get a promotion, for example, then you are following that same principle. Way to go if you can do it!

  8. It is better for a person to stay closer to the ground no matter how far the mind fly.
    Well written post.
    shakehands.

  9. Neil, I thought one of your goals was to get a Maserati?

    I think, at least for cars, it all depends on where you live. Where I am, in the California Bay Area, you’d most likely only be considered “loud” if you are one of the folks driving around a Ferrari or Lamborghini and just driving on the road like a complete ass.

    You can own a new BMW or a Porsche without being loud. Hell, you can own anything if you’ve earned it and act accordingly.

    And, sorry, you CAN feel better when you have hit certain milestones and achieve goals you’ve set out to accomplish — including owning a luxury vehicle. If you respect your money, respect your friends, you should also be able to show respect for yourself and your accomplishments.

    A fur coat might not do you any good, although, a fur coat is what allowed Barbara Corcoran (barbaracorcoran.com) to turn a $1,000 ‘investment’ into a 5 billion dollar real estate empire, but there are many times when an investment in a luxury item can yield amazing results for your business or personal life.

    I’ve done it several times in my life and it has always paid off. Went shopping for a million dollar house when, at that point, I should have only been looking for homes in the 200k range… and ended up meeting future partners and investment opportunities that created a lot of wealth for me over the long term.

    Bought TWO luxury cars, when I really only felt financially comfortable to maybe by ONE, and the ‘extra’ one led me to meeting someone I fell in love with — which I consider to be priceless.

    I’ve always worn an expensive watch, which acts as a compliment to my personality and presence — and not as a crutch. I’ve met and befriended the salesperson who will be helping me buy my first Maserati, and, eventually, my first Ferrari and Lamborghini — perhaps years before it is time to complete the goal.

    Though some of these things may be contrary to your post, Neil, I think it is important that we don’t forget that having money is NOT necessarily the overall goal — it is what you do with whatever amount you have to create the best results for your life. And, sometimes, that includes putting yourself into a position that is outside your comfort zone.

  10. LOL! We were both thinking the same thing but I didn’t want to be the one that let the cat out the bag about your humble ride. http://thejdogblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/mixergy-entrepenuer-meeting-in-oc.html

    • ROFL! Nice picture of you and my car.

    • Now that is pretty funny.
      Here I am thinking – that is a nice car.
      I rolled in a 1980 Olds until around 1997 then upgraded to an 87 subaru for a net of 1200 (the dealership laughed when I said I had a trade in, but I sold the olds to a scrap yard for 300).
      Your Mom’s Civic is still newer than my Jeep. I literally parked it in the office garage this morning and thought – wow, that still looks nice.

  11. All sound advice. Denzel always plays that kind of cool calm and collected character.

    The Honda doesnt look too beat up to me, actually looks like quite a nice ride Neil.

  12. Its really hard to think twice when you are going to buy a new and precious products.

  13. That last comment is so true, talking(yelling) loud doesn’t really help in most conversation, it usually just leads to more yelling. Also the loudest in the room is usually the first to get noticed and that can be very bad in a room full of people with guns that want to shoot you.

  14. That’s a pretty good post. I have to agree with you showing off is pointless. Many people ask me why I drive an Accord 2002 when I could be driving a better car. But whats the point of driving an expensive car save money, and keeping low profile =)

  15. Neil,

    This is a very interesting post. Now you are the creator of buzz. Inherent to buzz is bragging, advertising, loud talking (albeit for your client and may be sometimes for yourself). Without the buzz and the ostentatious speak would prospective users/customers want to avail your client’s services?

    – Harnish

    • The trick is to not brag about your clients or the results you have achieved. Instead you want to get others to brag for you by having your clients tell all of their friends what you did for them.

  16. Funny how this works so very different in different cultures!

    Here in Denmark we are mostly told to stay low – from the time we are born. Don’t think you are anybody. Don’t show off. Don’t believe you are better than anyone etc …

    However, that has been changing over the past couple of decades. More people are now showing off more proudly and it does work different here. In fact, some of us don’t give a shit – we are proud of how well we do what we do and the money we make :)

    I remember when I got my first Mercedes. Everyone I met – including clients and prospect, said almost word by word the same thing: “Buiness must be doing really well” – and next thing they gave me more work – paying me even more than what they paid before. In fact, the Mercedes turned out to pay itself in promotional value!

    But I totally agree with you and spending just to show off is stupid.

    On the other hand, making money you never want to spend is also stupid. Money is only good if spend on something you enjoy :)

    • If buying a nice car helps you make more money, then by all means you should buy the car. But what you don’t want to do is to tell everyone that you have a Mercedes (I am not saying that you were bragging, but I was just trying to show others what you shouldn’t do).

  17. You reminded me of a former boss of mine who went out and bought himself a Maserati that I don’t think he could actually afford. As though owning the car wasn’t enough, he also always made sure to put his keys in his pocket so that his Maserati key chain was still hanging outside. He was so obsessive about it, he’d check that it was still showing every time he got up or sat down, even in our office – and the company was only three people and we all *knew* he had the stupid car.

  18. Neil,
    Does this mean you don’t want a Maserati anymore? You had mentioned getting something like that sponsored while at the Marketing Pros conference in Scottsdale, AZ. I personally drive a 92 Honda civic cx. It’s paid for and gets 45 mpg.
    To me there’s something about having money in the bank for retirement and family vacations is way more fulfilling to me than a nice car. All cars feel like just another car to me after a few weeks regardless of how much they cost.
    Great post!!

    David

  19. You forgot to mention that the stickers on the back of your car were free :)

  20. Neil, you might be driving that old Civic, but it has custom tail lights (Altezza’s) and custom rims. You might not be loud, but definitely rice.

  21. “If you want to be important — wonderful. If you want to be recognized — wonderful. If you want to be great — wonderful. But, recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. That’s a new definition of greatness.” Not sure whose quote this is, Michelle Obama used it in her email for a call to service. Nice post.

    • That is a good quote. The cool thing about Obama is that he is one of us. He isn’t rich like all of the other Presidents that we had, and he cares about the little guy.

      • Not to be a na say, but I hope he can live up to every one’s expectations. I mean there is only so much one man can do, and there is so much pressure on him right now to change the states, and the world. I personally do want him to succeed, change things and give hope to everyone. However I really don’t plan on getting my hopes up he is only one man.

  22. MONEY TALKS, wealth whispers.

  23. Says the guy who flaunts around his Amex Black Card… ahem. Haha, just playing man. I totally agree with this – it’s better to stay under the radar and collect your money. It’s very difficult to do if you’re selling to Internet marketers though because you have to prove your results.

  24. Neil, I forgot to mention that this ride would fit right in at CarDomain with it’s Altezza tail-lights. But on a serious note, reward yourself with a nice car without going overboard. Listen to your mentor and negotiate the hell out of it since you know the lot is hurting for the sale.

  25. Great point of view. I really impressed with your thoughts. Some things really required implement in our life. I will show the movie American Gangster in this Weekend.

  26. I think the car was tenderly beloved by yours,and you are the greatest mechanic around knowing how to apply a hammer on the starter.Looks like a cool movie scene,that’s why the car is so dear for you.

  27. what’s up on that Aston Martin son? ;)

  28. Then, I quickly order you to give me all your watches so I can add them to my collection. Thanks.

  29. Really enjoyed the movie and to be honest didn’t really expect to. It was a really convincing film and great acting. The bit when he shoots the guy outside the diner is legendary.

  30. A similar saying in poker – the guy who acts strong is really weak, the guy who acts weak is really strong.

  31. Me and my dad always make this joke (in reference to toughness and fighting) it’s not the loud mouth person talking a bunch of crap that you have to be afraid of, it’s the quite person chillin’ not saying nothing that you should watch out for. When you’re a bad ass (I mean awesome) at what you do, you don’t have to say anything, eventually your good name will proceed you.

  32. right on, warren buffet is supposedly frugal also, that attitude is why hes one of the most richest people in the world. Living a life with less shiny objects make it less stressful that’s for sure.

    • That’s right. He still lives in a normal sized house and he drives the same affordable car.

      He does have a jet, but that’s a different story. ;)

      • I always admire Warren for this. I wonder he have donated the sum that he have promised earlier. He always said, when everyone is greedy, better be scared and when everyone is scared, be greedy. So, I guess this year will be his busy year and I don’t think that he will do the donation anytime soon.

  33. I agree that it is not smart to be flashy, however, one of my passions has always been to get an exotic car. It’s the reason why I pursued the path I’m in today. 1 thing that I’m learning from you is being humble. I think it’s amazing. Being humble gives me sort of a new shine on things.

  34. this movie is badass.. he just doesn’t give a damn about anything. great post

  35. The points about overspending are true. I have a friend who would LOVE to drive his new CLS550 off of a cliff. The payment is ridiculous and he could have never afforded the car in the first place. On the other hand, I have a friend who has two Ferraris, a Mazeratti, a super charged Range Rover and a couple of motorcycles. He CAN afford those cars and the nice house, evidence of which is a lack of payments for those purchases. He is also more frugal with his money than the guy who hates his CLS550. In addition, he’s built a nice business on his habit of buying fast cars. Do you think people would have taken him seriously as an exotic car dealer if he drove a Corolla? Not likely. I guess my point is that moderation and situation should be taken into consideration. If you have the money, and you like a certain type of luxury good, why not turn it into a business? But if you dont have the money and you want to buy something overpriced, be careful because the happiest day of your life might end of being when you get rid of that item.

    • I say if you have tons of money and you want something than buy it. Just make sure you aren’t bragging about your purchases and that they aren’t hurting your future income (ex: drawing too much attention when you don’t need it).

  36. Hello Neil I really like the way you write and its true that smart people don’t easily get impressed when someone brags about their success, they get turned off.
    Although haven’t seen the movie i do believe that being the loudest makes you the weakest :D

    Keep it up!

  37. Boasting can cause trouble. Learned a lot from you today. BTW, the honda civic look cool. I drive MPV and did some offline business. Within a few months, few of my customers started to do the same business as I do and competing prizes with me and taking my customers. It is good to stay low profile. But, sometimes when we get overexcited, our mouth is hard to control. At least I share all my stories with my husband and mum and not the third party.

  38. If ever an example is needed other than you of course, Warren Buffett comes to mind.

  39. Ha ha ha, thanks for sharing this. The only problem with keeping quiet and not showing off, especially when the money is REALLY there is that it’s darn difficult. I mean it’s going to be incredibly difficult for others to do what you are doing, Neil – driving a 10 year old beat up Honda when they can be driving a Ferrari. Boy, that is difficult. But yes, you are right. Didn’t the good book say God humbles the man who humbles himself? Thanks for sharing this.

  40. I really like the way you write and its true that smart people don’t easily get impressed when someone shows about their success, they get turned off.
    And by the way movie was really good…If you watch it few times, am sure you’ll learn a lot from it.

  41. about ” Britney Spears and Paris Hilton ” you say we don’t respect them yes sure but maybe because they choose the wrong way to be flashy ??
    if they reach this stage with good way , you think the looks to them will change ?

    • It is hard to change people’s perceptions. They could try to re-brand themselves, but it would be very hard.

      • You know what. While it is hard to change people’s perceptions, I feel that if they changed their mentality, eventually we would look upon them differently. The difference though is that they most likely would lose some of their fame, and I’d venture a guess to say that they enjoy the media-based fame, or at least are addicted to it.

        Re-branding is often difficult and takes a lot of time. However, from the personal level, I feel it has much more to do with the person who’s being judged is fearful of changing their habits or flat out doesn’t want to change. It’s sad really, and generally causes them to crash and burn after a while. Remember when everyone was fearful that Spears’s life would end tragically last year?

  42. Nice car! My last car was an ’88 Volvo and I would have drooled over your car. Now I own a ’07 Acura TL S and my finance has a “08 BWW 335i and these things don’t change who we are in any way, nor do we even WANT to impress people with “things”. Pity on those who think it should. In fact, though I like my car, I’m getting rid if it this year (and not replacing it). Not losing any sleep over it.

  43. The life confirms the old wisdom the more simple the better.It refers dealing to that car as well,It is good to have such an expensive car,but it is much better to sleep well at night.

  44. I agreed 100%. I am doing some mistakes. Ok i will shut my mouth now. and i agree , showing off will not get me anywhere. Nice car. Keep it up. :) . I love your blog.

  45. THANK you so much, Neil.

    Being professional isn’t about lobby fountains and escalators and $80,000 suits. It’s about doing professional work and acting in such a manner. So much of the business world has become enveloped in it’s own B.S. that it makes us regular folk sick (and impotent).

    It’s gotten to the point where the business world is so out of touch with the real world it’s hard to imagine there NOT being a financial mess like the one we’re in now.

    I mean having nice things isn’t wrong, but wasting resources, showing off, and thinking you’re better than everyone else because you own a fancy mansion (or 12), and buy cloths that are more expensive than mine (yet are of the same physical quality) is the quickest way to be labeled a “Douche” in my book (which isn’t very well written) as well as get beat up by all the Ghetto kids in the neighborhood.

    It’s amazing how we use material objects to describe ourselves when really… at the end of the day when you line us all up side by side, take away cloths, our accessories, our cars, our green pieces of paper that supposedly have value (until the s**t hits the fan), and at the very core, we’re all just humans: animals who are alive for the sole purpose of experiencing life (and who look very funny naked).

    No one is worth more than anyone else because of money or success.

    â–ˆ Kris Tian â–ˆ

    • And once we start using material objects, when does it end? It is addicting just like drugs.

      As for a nice suit, I have seen how a Armani suit can make you more money. Sounds weird, but some companies are willing to pay you a bit more if you seem that you are on the same level as them.

      • I really feel it is an addiction. Keeping up with the Jones’s is what they call it. People don’t even get to enjoy what they have because they are so caught up in beating out their neighbors for the latest and greatest. It’s such a silly concept and it screams insecurity and weakness.

        A nice suit does help and I always recommend everyone should have one, but I also think that’s entirely different than people leasing luxury vehicles because they can’t afford them but want to keep up with their neighbor’s car selection. Buying that 72″ TV to beat out their neighbor’s 66″. A suit is an investment that when worn on occasion presents a respectable aura from the people you need to impress to move forward. The 72″ tv is nice, but overkill and serves little purpose.

  46. When we will be able to get next posts from you.

    Yeah I saw many bloggers who is showing their earning in pie version as well. But from past few months they have stopped doing this.

    Seems to me that they have read your post … lollz

  47. American Gangster is a awesome movie and I completely agree with your point. Being a real estate agent, it is really difficult to choose the right car. You can’t drive too modest of a car, or people will think that you are bad at your job, and you can drive a car that is too fancy because people will think that you are showing off.

    • Yea, I can see that in some professions a decent car would help you. Like in real estate you have to drive people around.

      • Currently, I drive a Volvo S60r. It is fast and fun to drive, but it is also very functional and understated. My criteria when I purchased it was all wheel drive (sometimes it snows in Bellingham), leather interior, 4 doors with passenger legroom, and under $30k. The Volvo was the only car that fit the mold.

  48. Yeah I think keeping you mouth shut is the way to go, no one wants to hear about how successful you are and how they are not.

  49. I just heard the best proverb!
    Climb a mountain don’t tell anyone!
    If this is not best proverb, than I give up.. ;)

  50. Right on Niel! I always say speak softly but carry a big stick. Meaning……….

    A proverb advising the tactic of caution and non-aggression, backed up by the ability to do violence if required.

    Origin

    speak softly and carry a big stick The widespread use of this proverb began with American president Theodore Roosevelt. In a speech in Chicago in April 1903, he said:

    There is a homely old adage which runs: ‘Speak softly and carry and big stick; you will go far.’

  51. Wow Neil, I don’t know how I missed this post!

    I’ve always followed the same adage. It’s far better to be the humble, quiet one than the one boasting. I find you tend to be happier within yourself in that regard.

    Although I’m not incredibly wealthy, I’ve learned to save and live contently. I don’t go out partying and buying out the bar to show off to people I don’t even know. I, too, drive an older car. While my ’98 Galant doesn’t advertise a daycare, its definitely got some rust spots. However, it works for me, and even though I have the money, why try to compete with my co-workers who are taking loans out on their 401ks to keep up with the Jones’s.

  52. make your money and just shutup. great post

  53. Cool post. Heaps of great replies here Neil. I haven’t seen the movie myself but love the analogy!…
    Its so true that less is more…btw did you ever check out Trainspotting?

  54. Well I always look at it as, “Noone likes a showoff” which is true… I don’t like it when people brag or showoff about what they got and I give them less respect when they do. Although, I do think driving your mom’s car is taking the don’t showoff a bit too far… you could probably up the car a little bit without anyone thinking anything of it.

  55. Definitely one shouldnt brag but I am not of the opinion that one should refrain from possessing something or for that matter using it if one wants just because it may turn off some people. I wouldn’t care about such people at all. Why do I earn then?

  56. you are gujju arent you? haha

  57. That’s really smart advice Neil. Low-Key is the answer. The lesser people know about what you are doing the better.

  58. This is exactly why I tend not to listen to the majority of IM who blog about how much they earn. The real ‘big players’ are those running huge campaigns that no one knows about.

  59. Im completly opposite of what you just said ha. After i showed off a bit i wont do it as much but you need to remember Look donald trump the man shows off more than anybody and he keeps bring in the dough.

  60. simply to be a show off make you look insecure, what do you need to prove right?

  61. I haven’t read that “fake it til you make it” post to which there is a link somewhere below, though I do understand that perceptions matter. That being said, in this case, I felt that revealing my vulnerability got me one step closer to accepting my own humanity.

  62. One doesn’t need fancy toys to get the attention of others. One just needs to create value and the attention, respect, help and reverence comes by itself.

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