Getting screwed over sucks, but it happens to the best of us. I can’t express how many times I have been screwed over and the sad part is it usually could have been avoided if I made the other party sign a contract.
If you are like me and have been screwed over, the first feeling that goes to your head is anger. I know it is hard to control, but keep in mind that you can’t let emotions get in your way. All it will do is cloud your judgment.
Instead of letting the anger get to you, try and end the relationship on peaceful terms. Even if that means you are going to end up with the short end of the stick, at least the other party won’t be able to say anything bad about you. And once the relationship is over, you also don’t want to say anything bad about the them.
For example, when I first started out in the business world, I would curse people out who screwed me over. This lead to burned bridges and sadly it lost me future consulting deals because some of those people wrote negative comments about me on the web. Later on I learned to swallow my pride and I apologized to those individuals, which lead them to remove their nasty comments about me.
Now if you fast forward a few years, I am still getting screwed, but I have learned to end relationships on good terms. For example, the last company that screwed me caused a loss in revenue of around $19,000, but a few months later they referred me to another client which led to a revenue increase of $240,000.
Now granted, most things will not work out in your favor, but if you don’t burn bridges sooner or later things will come back to you in your advantage. (just like Karma)
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Good advice Neil
(I lol’d at the picture, too)
Thanks! I was trying to find a matador picture with horns going up a guys ass… but it was hard to find one of those pictures in a good size.
I have actually done this very same thing with being screwed and being the bigger person. Turns out the company ended up coming back to me later on and made up for all the initial loss.
Great article and great points Neil.
You took the smart approach the first time, which is to be the bigger person. Glad things worked out for you.
Great stuff, Neil. This post applies to something I’m going through currently; it’s been a test of my diplomacy but I’m a better professional for keeping myself in check.
I think at the end of the day, we all know this, but it’s a good reminder. Thanks!
Totally agree. It is the basic things we forget and need to be reminded of on a regular basis.
Seriously though, how’d you find that pic? Anyway, good post as I have lived this. Got screwed over big time but I was cool about it and I got a lot of respect as a result down the road.
I just search the web and stock photography sites for pictures.
Respect is an important thing and it seems you earned it the smart way.
I think that is a pretty rare case but I do like the thought process. Submitted to Stumbleupon
Cheers,
Glen
Thanks for the submit! I just stumbled it.
I disagree. So the person who screwed you gets away with it? Well that’s no way to live your life. You take their blows and they feel no remorse? You need to fight back, so what if you burn bridges, there are lots of them anyway, and people have short memories. I say, stand your ground, be strong and screw them back if possible.
I am not too sure on the fighting back approach. I have tried it and haven’t been successful. Maybe I was doing something wrong.
Either way, I like the idea of being the bigger person. From what I have experienced, things come back around to your advantage.
I have to agree with nick, there are some people in this world that don’t get their “karma” and sometimes its best to let them know that what this or that person did is inexcusable. Being the bigger person after being screwed badly just makes you out to be weak especially if other people are around to witness it. I believe it all depends on the situation and in certain cases it deserves to be met…
You need to be able to let things go else they’ll destroy you in the long run.
I would say there is certainly a bit of gray area there with regard to standing your ground or not. It really does require a situational evaluation, and sometimes the reality is good people/companies do bad things and end up screwing you over (sometimes intentionally, sometimes not). Often times from their perspective it’s a business decision, which of course doesn’t make it any less personal on your end. But to them at the time it makes sense and they often don’t look at from a personal perspective.
Other times, there are truly bottom-feeder type people/companies who scrape by consistently screwing other people as a business model. In those situations I would contend it’s worth standing your ground, making a point and taking them to the mattress if need be. Those types of companies or individuals need to be called out so others can see them for what they really are; and in doing so others may be able to share similar events or dealings with them, further strengthening your position.
All in all though, I do think maintaining a professional demeanor must always be the best first option. As Neil pointed out, you never know when they might turn around and refer you additional business, come back for another engagement or simply not give you a bad review/press; which in turn could lead to more business.
That last item is of course an intangible and something you’ll never really be able to measure, but not having bad press goes a long way to garnering future business.
Well put Christopher. In some cases, as you mentioned, it is probably wise to stand your ground while keeping a professional demeanor.
Neil,
I know people hire you but did you ever hire someone for getting something done? And if that someone has screwed you, what are you going to go about it?
Will you give them another chance? I wouldn’t because you don’t want to be bitten by the same snake twice.
Your thoughts?
I have hired people for getting stuff done. In multiple cases when they screw me, I usually give them another chance. In these cases, most of them are 9 to 5 employees and there are a lot of legalities involved with firing them.
As for contractors I usually end up giving them a second chance and if that doesn’t work out, I fire them.
Wherever possible, I always try to emerge from a negative situation by keeping my own dignity intact.
If the other party screws with me, that highlights more their poor business approach than it does mine.
As much as positive word-of-mouth is the best source of recommendation for any business, so any unethical behaviour will have a detrimental impact on their reputation.
As business is all about building long-term, mutually beneficial relationships, I can’t see many people wanting to work with any individual or enterprise who habitually screws people over.
I like your approach. Word of mouth is very powerful. Literally 99% of my business has come from word of mouth.
you live and you learn, getting screwed is just part of business. how to limit your risk to unfavorable outcomes can only be learned through experiences in which you lose out. Not every relationship can be profitable, you win some you lose some, but in the long run, if you stay patient and respectful you will get the gold.
Contracts can’t always protect you either because if the party breaches a contract, its hell trying to enforce the terms, who wants to end up in court?
And if the contract is with a large corporation, you are really screwed. They know they can take it to court and drain all of your money, which means you are better off letting it go.
You are a very smart man.
You know, I just got done posting about how Market Leverage screwed me over on my blog but now I am thinking it was not such a great idea. Hahaha…
Tomorrow I’ll write a followup post or something talking about that.
Glad the post helped. Only if I posted it a few days earlier…
Sorry
hmm, starting to believe in this, i got screwed just a few days ago, and in some way i clicked your feed again for the first time in 2-3 months..
You are right on this one!
I guess it was meant to be.
The pic made me LOL!
Getting screwed over also happens in personal life and that hurts even more. It’s not just one’s pride and wallet that got trampled. It is so much harder to take the high road and not burn bridges. Kind of hard not to pray they’d grow warts. However, the rules of Karma still apply.
Thanks! I wasn’t sure if the picture was funny or if it was going to offend anyone.
They are getting fun from it. lol.
LOL, I don’t think they knew what they were getting into before the picture was taken.
wow – it continues to amaze me that common sense is not so common. Duh – think twice indeed DA
It is the basic things that we forget the most.
I too can speak from experience, about getting screwed, it came down to the mistakes i made, the biggest one, like you, was not having them sign a contract, and then when i did, the contract wasn’t specific enough to address the real issues or “Fatal Flaws” of a partner.
The problem with contracts is that people still try to break them. For example I recently had a client who canceled, but in the contract there is a $50,000 fee for canceling early. Problem is the lady is trying to get away from it, claiming that it is my fault.
I guess getting screwed happens to the best of us. All you can do is try and protect yourself with things like contracts, which “hopefully” helps.
I feel you here dude, In our business we have to watch out for shady customers who abuse the return policy. Every customer you take on can be a risk, i’ve learned, figuring out a process to filter the good ones from the shady ones is the challenge.
That’s really good… I think I will come up with a process that screens potential customers. Usually when customers tell me they revenue amounts like 10 or 20 million I assume they have money. But they could be losing money even at those revenue levels, which means they are a risky client to take on.
Thanks for the tip!
Great advice! Keeping things on the up-and-up and being straight-forward are always the way to go.
Yea, when you go the other route things won’t go well for you. If you get screwed and you can’t fix it, ruining the other persons life won’t solve your problem.
The picture of Rex Grossman was not needed haha but I think anyone who has been in business has probably been screwed over at some point. It is just a part of learning and many have to get screwed a few times before they start protecting themselves.
Your right, it is a natural part of business. Most successful business owners have been screwed. On the plus side, at least it shows that you are taking risks.
Karma is good…forgiveness works really well too. I’m sensing a theme!
Yea Karma and forgiveness go hand in hand. Even if it is something small like people talking shit about you, just brush it off and forgive them.
This is especially true when a situation arises between 2 friends. I failed to use a contract with my friend and when we butted heads over our business, I got screwed. I settled with him in a peaceful way however, and to this day we are great friends. We don’t discuss business to each other though. LOL
LOL, I have had the same problem with a friend. The funny part is they say nothing wrong… but I just let it go and used it as a learning experience.
Grudges take WAY too much energy to maintain. Let it go. Negative emotions almost always hurt you more than their intended target. Unless you are an arsonist.
Yea, I have had a few grudges over the last week. But after letting things go I feel much better. Fighting back usually makes things worse.
Yep I have fought back earlier in my business career and it usually does nothing but just make it worse because if they are going to rip you off they are going to do it there is usually no remedy for getting them not to so better off just letting it go after doing basic things to protect yourself.
Nice article, I can definitely say I’ve been screwed over at a young age too many times, but I never hold a grudge. I try to be peaceful, not resorting to public anger and just let things go.
Sometimes, people just screw me over out of jealousy and that just seems wrong. I still don’t bring myself down to their level.
If that is the case, then you should be proud of yourself. If people want to screw you over because they want what you have, then you should be happy that you have accomplished something great.
So much optimistic, wise and tactful approach Neil. Brilliant advice. Thanks.
Well put Christopher. In some cases, as you mentioned, it is probably wise to stand your ground while keeping a professional demeanor.
But you don’t want to stand your ground if that means burning a bridge.
That is good advice I know that there were times when I got screwed over and I just wanted to punch them right in the face but I held back because… well I didn’t want to get in trouble. However for those events, I think I’m still waiting for my karma but I know it won’t happen right away.
Don’t think about it. Just let it go.
Nice stuff, Neil
Truely speaking, i hve never screwed anybody… i feel its nt good 2 screwed any1..
It isn’t. Hopefully you keep it that way.
To add to your great advice, I would say many a times, people you think screwed you over were only acting rationally and in their best interests and even if you yourself were there in their position, you wd have behaved the same.
But it takes a lot of reason and experience to realise this. Till then its best t shut up and not say anything to any one.
Yep, you always have to look at it from the other person’s point of view. Step into their shoes for a while.
I think that comes in with that saying, always smile at those who is thought to be your enemies. It works every time. Getting screwed over does come in a lot of responsibility of how you react to the situation. I think everybody overreacts the first time. It’s all about development.
LOL, I will have to try that the next time I see an enemy.
Getting screwed over just makes me want to succeed even more. Your advice is good – carefully distance yourself from the arrangement/relationship but don’t be rude or confrontational.
It’s an amazing feeling to surpass those who screwed you over – even more so when you know they are kicking themselves for doing it to you in the first place.
It’s the sweetest form of revenge
2 weeks ago i was at the mall and this women came up to me and said can you go into gamestop and help me? She tells me i just need you to sell these items because i have reached my limit. I go ok so i do it and im in there doing what she asked i found out they are stolen and my mom came by and got upset and we called security and i got cleared and i was let go. she then stocked me thinking i stole the items after i told her they were back in gamestop then i pulled a james bond got out of the place then ran. Come to find out from my mom she had a knife ect.
Now what did i learn be weary but dont always think everybody is a scammer.
WOW!!! that’s an insane story. I guess its a good lesson for people to learn. Thanks for sharing, I hope no one makes that mistake.
I really don’t understand how you accepted to do that for her. It’s good that nothing worse happened. Take care in the future!
Yeah, he just needs to be safe in the future.
Your advice is very helpful. I wish I would have read a few years ago…and maybe I would have done things in some other way. I had altercations at some past workplaces and I couldn’t stand and I opened my mouth and that led me to leave those place not in very friendly conditions.
Ouch, sorry to hear that John. Well no time like the present to learn from your mistakes and never do em again.