It’s not who you know, it’s who they know!

by Neil Patel on November 11, 2007

networking

Networking isn’t all about getting to know people who can just provide direct value. In many cases, the people you network with will not provide any direct benefit because they aren’t famous, don’t have much money, or don’t have a great job. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t network with these people. Instead, get know them on a personal rather than professional level.

Although someone may not be able to provide any direct value to you, it doesn’t mean that his or her network can’t provide any value to you. In many cases they may know rich people or individuals in high places that can provide tons of benefit to you. The only way you will be able to gain any of those benefits is to get to know these people quite well and make sure they like you.

If you’re having trouble with this and don’t want to spend your entire day making friends with everybody, just pay attention to some initial cues. For example, people who name drop a lot usually don’t know many people on a personal level while those who don’t name drop are a better bet. Just pay attention to things that indicate the person is a pretty cool cat and might actually attract a lot of quality friends. This may be a bit hard to do, but you are going to have to keep your eyes and ears open if you really want to find those extremely valuable contacts.

{ 5 trackbacks }

Authority Building: Tools of the Trade | Search Engine People | Toronto
February 24, 2009 at 11:13 AM
The 15 things I did not really cared for when I started this blog « WiNG - What else?
February 27, 2009 at 1:12 PM
51 Ways to Become a Better Entrepreneur
August 7, 2009 at 2:55 PM
Good to read … « Kotti2's Blog
August 8, 2009 at 7:21 PM
Beginner’s Guide to Finding the Right Business Partner
November 4, 2009 at 4:01 PM

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Michael Dorausch November 11, 2007 at 10:03 PM

Wise words. While it takes time to get to know where people are coming from, you can usually decrease the degrees of separation by paying attention to clues like the one you mentioned.

Sometimes the least likely person in the room has the next connection you’re seeking.

Reply

Gary Lee November 12, 2007 at 12:04 AM

Great networking with you this weekend Neil . . . . hope we can meet up in LA some time for lunch!

Reply

Neil Patel November 12, 2007 at 4:41 PM

Great meeting you as well. Hit me up whenever you want to meet up.

Reply

Dan Schawbel November 12, 2007 at 5:21 AM

If you think of LinkedIn, there are 3 degrees of separation. This means that you have to think in terms of your network, their network and so forth.

Reply

Neil Patel November 12, 2007 at 4:42 PM

I like the LinkedIn analogy, but I just hate LinkedIn overall. It can be very useful to some people, but it seems like there are too many false connections on there.

Reply

Phil December 21, 2007 at 3:01 AM

I agree Neil – the problem with LinkedIn et al is that many people focus on building a big network, rather than developing strong mutually beneficial links. Bigger is not always better!

Phil

Reply

Damon Day October 6, 2009 at 1:05 PM

That certainly can be true, but it can definitely be a valuable resource. If nothing else, it easily lets you see who your connections might know. Then you can easily ask your friend to drop a line to one of their connections that you are interested in getting to know. Of course if that friend doesn’t really know that person it might not help, but it is certainly better than asking your friends to make a list of everyone they know so you can see if you would like to meet any of them :-)

Reply

Neil Patel October 6, 2009 at 8:37 PM

It’s all about building your network so thats true. Anyone of the people you know, may know someone else that can benefit you.

Reply

Eric D November 12, 2007 at 5:54 AM

Who knows what about who has often been called gossip…. lol. One thing I do is to keep a file on people I meet. Nothing fancy…just info like wife and kids names, birthdays, special interests, something that stands out from last conversation. It’s good info and by having a way to look this info up can be a great advantage when you next meet that person or email them. Something as simple as including a “happy birthday” at the end of an email will make you stand out…….

eric d aka noviceseo

Reply

Neil Patel November 12, 2007 at 4:43 PM

Nice touch! I have found it when discussing family with others it is easier to make a connection compared to just discussing business.

Reply

Vik Dulat January 4, 2009 at 8:02 PM

If someone likes you, they will help you out. Also, it is your persona. Being funny doesn’t hurt but that can backfire if the other person finds it offensive.

Reply

Neil Patel January 4, 2009 at 8:07 PM

Yea, it has backfired with me. Some people may find me offensive, but it is a very small percent.

Reply

Jeff Quipp November 12, 2007 at 6:18 AM

So true! Sometimes even the most unlikely individuals have the biggest and most powerful social circles.

Reply

Maria Elena Duron November 12, 2007 at 10:49 PM

Additionally, it is who knows you well. Most people are too busy or deem it too risky to connect you to anyone they know if they don’t know that you’re a “solid citizen” who will not take away from the great relationship and reputation that they have with their connection.

If you are a “proven product” in their mind, then they’re more likely to introduce you to those in their contact spheres and then those in their spheres of influence.

I’m delighted everyday to where some of the best connections come from – even those great decision makers have friends they run around with, see at their kid’s schools, or soccer games or church.

Reply

Neil Patel November 12, 2007 at 11:05 PM

This usually is true as long as you give people the time of day. There are some famous people I know who are well known, but they are arrogant and never take the time to get know people, which is why they aren’t well branded or don’t make much money.

Reply

Barbara November 13, 2007 at 11:51 AM

Nice post Neil and so true. I can’t even think of all the people I had to shmooz until I finally met you. ;) It was so worth it!

Reply

Neil Patel November 13, 2007 at 4:25 PM

Don’t you mean, you couldn’t remember all the people I had to shmooz to meet you?

Reply

Matt Ellsworth November 13, 2007 at 2:16 PM

your spot on with this post. it is definately more about connecting people and helping each other out.

Reply

mike foster November 17, 2007 at 9:28 AM

I spend a lot of time during the week meeting with people. Mostly for non-business reasons. I subscribe to the mantra of “never eat alone.” I take people to lunch almost everyday because its a great networking tool. Often I will drive to them because I value connecting with people so much. It has been the key to every success or opportunity I have had in life.

I think it is also very true about name dropping too. Most people I know who know key people don’t do it. It is a trust thing with key relationships.

Mike.
http://www.DeadlyViper.org

Reply

Pete Kistler November 19, 2007 at 6:27 PM

I agree that, “Networking isn’t all about getting to know people who can just provide direct value.” Most of the people you already know (and their close friends) share the world you live in. They can’t supply anything new because they occupy the same space and know the same things you do. It’s the most tenuous connections (i.e. my colleague’s brother’s barber’s aunt) that offer the most valuable new opportunities. Because the worlds we inhabit are so different.

For example, if all you know is web design, you probably have a lot of techie friends. Say one of your buddy’s friends, Bob, is a realtor. If you network with the goal of developing a personal connection with everyone, you might have learned that Bob’s circle of friends includes every local realtor within 1,000 miles. And all of his realtor friends wish they had a nice clean website to put on their business card.

That business opportunity wouldn’t have come up if all you aimed for was direct value when meeting Bob. Instead you connected with him and he shared his contacts with you.

Without meeting people outside our normal circles, it’s easy to not see what opportunities we’re missing.

- Pete Kistler

Director, Brand-Yourself.com
Brand-Yourself.com Blog

Reply

The Baldchemist November 23, 2007 at 7:21 PM

Be the one to be known. The one who even when you are boring, people think its their fault.
If you go around analysing peoples worth you’ll get spotted and avoided very quickly.
There is an art- no a gift in being no kicking and screamingly interesting and its being interested and being seen to be interested and importantly getting joy from everything and everyday. THEN, everyone wants a part of YOU. The Baldchemist

Reply

AJ Kumar January 4, 2009 at 7:09 PM

I believe it was MSN who did this, correct me if I’m wrong, but there was a study done saying that we are all within 6 degrees of each other. For example, if I would go through 6 people, I would get to Obama. Amazingly difficult to prove, concept seems valid. But with that in mind, you can network with very successful people if you wanted to.

Reply

Neil Patel January 4, 2009 at 7:57 PM

You can kind of do this on LinkedIn. Through that service you can connect with your friends’ friends.

Reply

Voice Of Dingchao February 21, 2009 at 6:55 AM

I don’t want to know too many people, because I am tired of communicating with people, especially boring people. So I’d rather spend my time on my business, other than make friends with others.

But sometimes I do feel it is a great thing to have some friends.

Reply

Neil Patel February 22, 2009 at 12:58 PM

Making friends will help your business grow. You will be amazed on the feedback friends can give you.

Reply

Pdf July 10, 2009 at 11:31 PM

I believe it was MSN who did this, correct me if I’m wrong, but there was a study done saying that we are all within 6 degrees of each other.

Reply

Neil Patel July 26, 2009 at 6:15 PM

Yeah it was done a while ago. It’s not a valid or proven theory, mainly because it’s almost impossible to say, but it seems to be quite accurate.

Reply

cheapdvds July 10, 2009 at 11:33 PM

For example, if all you know is web design, you probably have a lot of techie friends. Say one of your buddy’s friends, Bob, is a realtor. If you network with the goal of developing a personal connection with everyone, you might have learned that Bob’s circle of friends includes every local realtor within 1,000 miles.

Reply

Neil Patel July 26, 2009 at 6:15 PM

You can add thousands of people to your network by adding just a few friends. ;)

Reply

Leave a Comment