Quick Sprout

Only hard type of criticism to handle is if it is coming from an absolute jerk. You can’t talk to them, better off ignoring them.

Great post! One of your best yet.

Dealing with jerks is a matter of perspective too. If you can please everyone, then you’re doing something wrong! (See Creating Passionate Users.)

The human brain is very poorly equipped for dealing with new information and opportunities. So just accept that there are people that are at different stages in their lives and move on. (Also make a note of this and write more about the subject — it’s a business model

Anyway, I agree fully. Taking criticism objectively is the best thing you can do for yourself and your blog!

-alexjc

I agree that criticism is both necessary and beneficial, but I disagree with some of your points.

1. Trying to understand their points takes both self-reflection and a desire to evaluate your argument and theirs based on the relative merits. This is a good thing.

2. Benevolent criticism - that is, disagreeing with one’s argument rather than disagreeing for the sake of it - has nothing to do with making anyone happy, and neither does responding to the criticism. Stick to the argument. The goal is to advance understanding of the topic; happiness is not a factor. You can treat a dissenter with respect and courtesy - this should be standard - but in no way is your effort driven by trying to make them happy. If one is truly committed to advancing their discipline, happiness doesn’t factor in.

3. The attitude expressed in this point - that the most important thing about criticism is to learn how to avoid it - is harmful [and contradictory to your argument]. As someone who runs a polemical site, I depend on criticism to hone my arguments and expose the flaws within them. Criticism from readers has increased the value of my commentary in a way that’s almost immeasurable - I need it and so do the dissenters. That’s why we have these “conversations.” If you meant “prevent the same criticism in the future” to mean that it will help you refine your research methods and argumentation so you put forth better arguments, then I support that.

Criticism helps you build your brand from the real perspective. Your total perceived value is in the eyes of your audience, so only they can help you.

This is a great post Neil. I’m going to recommend it to an art critique group that I lead. I know what you’re discussing is a bit different from art critique. But there are some definite similarities. I agree that unsolicited criticism is a very hard thing to deal with. It can be very damaging or it can be quite helpful. One of the things I tell my group is to first ask themselves if the criticism inspires them to create or to give up. If it’s the latter, ignore the criticism.
If you receive a critique that you don’t agree with it’s best to give the critic a perfunctory acknowledgement, such as “That’s an interesting idea, I’ll take your advice into consideration.” I think one of the worst things to do is engage in an argument with a critic. I think it best to put it aside and look at it later, when you’re a bit more dispassionate about the subject.
I don’t know if it would be helpful or not but here is the url to my group’s critique guide lines. http://realcritiqueforum.googlepages.com/home

Robin’s mention of unsolicited criticism is interesting. Often when we ask for feedback we really want validation (Yes, you gave that presentation brilliantly!) rather than a genuine evaluation of what went well and what can be improved. Like Matthew I see someone disagreeing with your ideas as healthy debate. We owe it to ourselves and our clients/customers to have discussions with people whose views are different to ours. By testing our arguments or beliefs we can only get better at what we do.

Personal branding isn’t about being liked by everyone. It’s about being clear about who you are, what you stand for and the work you want to attract.

Initially, it’s kind of hard for me to take criticism from readers. But when you think about it, 1) it’s hard to please everybody, 2) if people are willing to take time to comment, it shows they are actually reading your articles. You feel better.

I agree with personal branding. It’s not about the criticism, it’s about how well you handle it. People will respect you if you know where you stand and what principles you hold close to your chest.

Receiving criticism isn’t something people consider when they begin an endeavor, such as starting a business or even just starting a blog. You have to have a thick skin, and remember that how you handle criticism could be a positive or negative turning point for your personal brand in the eyes of onlookers.

I’d like to suggest another reason criticism is valuable: it allows us to see ourselves through the eyes of others and it exposes our blind spots to ourselves. This can offer valuable insight into the self, which leads to greater self-improvement.

On the other hand, sometimes people are just trolls or they really have no idea what they’re talking about. Your post has some great points for handling these situations (and, of course, for “legit crit”, too!).

Hey Neil, don’t take it so personally. That post on my blog really wasn’t criticizing you personally, you know?

(Sorry… I had to do it). Threadjacking is just one example response to criticism in a competitive arena. Why validate the criticism at all? Let the reader decide the verdict, and use the power of the pen to influence the reader, just-as-the-critic-did.

Avoid flame wars for sure, and I totally agree about shifting perspective and learning, but never forget you can gain directly as well from the conversation.

I think you need to decide if you will compete or not, and stay true to character. No matter what, people value consistency and dislike deception. You may want to be nice guy, but if you take that high road and play games behind the scenes, you will get called out for hypocrisy.

Hey! Nice blog. First time here and you are going straight to my netvibes

I’ve been saying the same thing about comments on social sites, such as Digg. In fact, I can even suggest getting popular on social sites to test your offer/content.

Yes, somebody once said…

“Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.”

I have it attributed to Bill Gates, but I’m not sure it was him. Either way, when someone’s criticizing you, there’s an opportunity hidden somewhere in the situation.

Thanks for the great post.

Paul Hancox
http://www.InternetInfluenceMagic.com

Constructive criticism should be welcomed at all times - I see it as a gift when I receive constructive criticism as it brings my attention to areas and possibilities I may never have previously been aware of or even considered.

- Martin Reed

Let me be lil Jerk here,
These are the very basic things, we dont need “The Neil Patel” to learn these things from. Don’t you remember, you teachers used to teach you the same lesson when you were in class 4 or 5 in school?

This is great!

I recently had a post on the front page of Yahoo! Personals, and though it was one of the most popular articles of the day - not everyone felt the same way.

I got reemed! Apparently people hate me. But I love this because it shows that you’re truly riding the edge, and thinking outside the box.

Here’s to taking the criticism with a smile guys!!!

Glad to see so many people have found this subject interesting. You might want to look at the July 20th NPR report about cognitive dissonance and our inherent ability for self-justification. It’s a quick overview of the history of the psychological theory from the new book “Mistakes Were Made - but not by me”. It suggests that there are good reasons why we unlikely to all suddenly start loving what we perceive as criticism!

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12125926&sc=emaf

Hi Neil,
I’ve really been enjoying your blog. I’m finding it to be really helpful in a lot of different business related areas. I’m participating in a game of tag and have tagged your blog. I would be interested in your ideas around Simple Success Habits- http://growthinaction.blogspot.com/2007/07/simple-successful-habits.html

I hope you are open to participating I look forward to more posts!